Thursday, August 19, 2010

Loose lips sink ships



"Find arms that will hold you at your weakest
Eyes that will see you at your ugliest
A heart that will love you at your worst"

anonymous

By nature, I am a trusty person.Once trust is destroyed, it is very difficult to regain it. I expect the same from others but sad to say at times like this, you will discover who is friends or foes. The pain of loosing trust is magnified by how much I care for the other party.

Guess some friends are for keeps and some are forsaken.I have come to peace with myself. If a friendship are less than idylic, make amends or make do. If I cannot help with my hands, I can with my ears and with my heart. If it doesnt work out, let it go.

# Balqesh Abdullah

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Witty friend




A dear friend dedicated a blog for me.She encapsulate my turbulent times in her own words.Do read her witty writings at http://scribblesthoughtsnsuch.blogspot.com

Doll, u are a gem of a friend. Love you loads!!

*She wrote an entry about B or bee. Bee is the stupid whore E cheated me on.E called her bee.Yes, as in the bee that stings you.Of all the terms of endearment, he chose bee.What to do.His mentality and her mentality is just serving and cleaning after people's leftover

# Balqesh Abdullah

Thursday, July 29, 2010

My take on u



I am going through a lot, a hell lot. Sometimes I do not understand why life throws curve balls at me all the time. Sometimes I wonder why God challenge me with the hardest of test?Everyone would say there is a silver lining to every dark clouds.Easier said than swallowing it.

As I got older, life experience taught me of what I didn't want in a marriage. It also gave me a better sense of what I really want. I no longer want to be a door mat. I also will not tolerate husband who cheats me of my honest living, a manipulative and twisted husband who goes all out to destroy all that i have taken years to build, an abusive husband who physically, emotionally and financially abusive towards me.I also will not tolerate a husband who is a cheater and a liar who lies through his teeth about every imaginable things possible and a husband who does not have any sense of respect towards me and my loved ones.

After all those sleepless nights, I have come to a conclusion. When I whittle it down to its essence, it is actually his expression of contempt. When he cheats to hurt me, he is actually hurting himself. I can never fathom forgiving him for all that he has done. I have thrown in the towel on my marriage when he failed me.

I can safely say to you that I cant resign to a life of quiet misery with a man who I have lost all sense of respect, as a husband, a man and a friend.

U have done way too much damage. Stop blaming others. Others were not the reason why I left you. You and your impossible ways are the sole reason why I abandoned the marriage. Stomach that. Farewell E.

# Balqesh Abdullah

ENOUGH




It is better to have loved and lost than to live with psycho the rest of your life

It is funny how psychotic a person can be and demand me to go back to him although he goes all out to destroy my world.tsk!tsk!tsk!Note to psycho, game is on. NOTHING you do will make me crawl back to your abusive and cheating self

# Balqesh Abdullah

Saturday, July 24, 2010

liar!liar!pants on fire!



You are so full of lies. You are so ashamed of yourself that you lied about your own identity.Trying to garner support by potraying yourself as a loving husband?Trying to preach religion when you are the one who aniaya me and sonia.Trying to deny you were never abusive towards me?

Since you are going down the religious route, my suggestion to you muhasabah diri.No sane woman would run away from a perfect marriage. You are impossible. You are so full of lies, hatred and anger. You will never find peace because your heart is so black.

# Balqesh Abdullah

Monday, July 12, 2010

Desiderata


Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career,
however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy

Max Ehrmann

# Balqesh Abdullah

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Marriage



You were born together and together you shall be forevermore
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God
But let there be spaces in your togetherness
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you

Love one another but make not a bond of love
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous but let each one of you be alone
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music

Give your hearts but not into each other's keeping
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts
And stand together yet not too near together
For the pillars of the temple stand apart
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow


Khalil Gibran


# Balqesh Abdullah