I have a come a long way when it comes to diving. I was the most uncoolest diver around. Every possibly sin when it comes to diving, I am a sinner. Name it. Poor buoyancy, check, hyperventilating, check, destroying and killing corals with my finning, check, fog mask and never be able to clear mask under water, check, takes way too long to equalize, check, finning too fast and bumping into others, check, created sandstorm underwater while others trying to admire a macro, check and getting sea sick on the boat, check. Sometimes I wonder why others tolerated me in their diving circles. The only possible reason is I must be the butt of their joke. With poor skills like that, even the fishes are having a good laugh:)
I had the burning desire to dive since I was twelve years old. I don't know what triggered my interest but I just wanted to dive. I remembered telling my parents I want to dive. Obviously it was faced with much scorn and objections. In the eyes of my parents, diving equals to me putting my head in an alligator mouth. I carried the interest in me for a very long time. I finally got my break when I convinced my then hubby to dive. Off we went to Tioman for our open water certification. On my very first dive, I couldn't equalize. The instructor thought I was not properly weighted so he pulled me down and I blew my nose too hard. The next thing I know my world was spinning. Quick check and I have a ruptured ear drum. When the doctor told me I had a ruptured ear drum, the first thing that came to my mind is my mother's image and she vocalizing 'I told you so'. I couldn't walk straight for two weeks. I was having headache because my balance was off and I could only hear from one ear.The worst was I could not dive for the next six months. What? Six months?Mana boleh jadi ni cause my then hubby already had his certification.
My then hubby was supportive of my interest. I finally managed to get my certification at 5 star IDC centre in Perhentian years after the Tioman incident. Although I was not entirely comfortable underwater, I took Advance License. For me, the certification for Advance License was easier compared to Open Water certification. I get to do wreck dive and night dive which is my favourite bit of diving. I also did deep diving without experiencing vertigo. Despite getting my Advance License certification, I was still uncomfortable underwater. I would dive with a fog mask because clearing mask underwater scared the shit out of me.
I would take up any chance in diving. Every spare cash and holiday would be spared for diving trips. The old adage of practise makes perfect rings some truth. My buoyancy improves with every dive. I used to dive like a seahorse. Now my body is streamline. I guess it comes with age I am now more calm underwater. My air consumption is good. Now I am able to do fin pivotting effortlessly. Armed with improved skills, I discovered a new found love. Underwater photography.
I regularly find the dismissive attitude the topside world adopts regarding underwater photographers and their work exceptionally frustrating. No matter how difficult, costly or even downright risky taking photographs in the ocean may be or how objectively splendid the pictures, they will always be given a cursory, if luckily, grudgingly admiring glance before turning to more serious materials like politicians, racing cars and palace. This is so strange. For a planet 70% covered by sea and which should, in all honesty, be better known as "Water" rather than "Earth", humans seems to care very little. The sad, inescapable fact is that nowadays the vast majority basically think the ocean as a wet, windy, dark and dangerous place where fish is simply found only to be caught and eaten in endless quantities and will sustain this attitude until the last fish is gone.
Diving in the sea is strange enough but taking photographs down there, oh dear, that's only for obsessed amateurs. A cute picture of a kitten or a kid playing with a balloon is more fascinating than seldom seen marine creature or a spectacular underwater panorama. It is difficult to accept this when you think that the human race knows almost nothing of the sea and its inhabitants, that the oceans are the last frontier to be explored and that most of the world's new species being discovered today come from the marine environment. The endless beauty and staggering color palette of the underwater world , not to mention its scientific load of yet-to-be-tapped knowledge really seems to fail in eliciting any real interest outside diving circles.
That was the depressing part. Why then I want to take pictures underwater? The simplest reason is I like it. I love the fact that I can capture and take home pleasant memories of the dive trips. I am my own master and critic. However the pictures turn out, it is fine, since I am doing it for my own enjoyment. I just get wet, click around and be happy. It’s my life after all. Every dive is another step in a new direction and I have the chance of seeing and maybe photographing something mysterious and possibly unknown. Despite the funny stares I may get on dry land, I am spearheading the exploration of a new world, so incredibly complex, so little documented and yet so dangerously threatened by uncontrolled human activity. I dive in awe, every time, everywhere and at any depth and I have the moral duty to bring back tangible records of what I have experienced, to be shared with the rest of the world, that landlocked world to whom our seas are as remote as the reaches of outer space to share the knowledge, however amateurish and incomplete it may be. Knowledge brings respect, and respects in turn gives rise to understanding and ultimately love. Love is what oceans need today from all of us, for without love there can be no conservation. So how’s that for a motivation, ey?
# Balqesh Abdullah
