30 things to stop doing to yourself

Chanced reading this while browsing FB. Strikes a chord in my heart. Worth the read peeps!

#1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

#2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

#3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.

#4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

#5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

#6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

#7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

#8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to be.

#9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

#10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.

#11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

#12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

#13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

#14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

#15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

#16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

#17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

#18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

#19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

#20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.

#21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

#22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

#23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.

#24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.

#25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

#26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

#27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.

#28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

#29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

#30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

This is such a beautiful list, and we all are guilty of some of these. The best thing to do is just remember each day to appreciate and reflect a bit, even if it's only a few minutes.

# Balqesh Abdullah

Love Never Felt So Good

I LOVE this song. It is on my iPod playlist. On repeat. The whole day.

The use of Micheal Jackson's old video setting together with Justin Timberlake and dancers were cleverly done. It is really an awesome dance music video.

I have never seen Justin Timberlake as a cool dude. In my mind, he is the curly haired 'N Sync member and a sour grape who wrote nasty song about Britney. He looks so good in this music video. I do not know whether age agrees with him or him imitating MJ moves, he has my vote now.

# Balqesh Abdullah

Busy Bee

'It is not so much so much how busy you are but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted'- Unknown

It’s been a while since I last blog. I have been busy. Alhamdullilah life has been kind to me. I am blessed to be surrounded by great family members and true friends. I also have developed skills to explore the beauty and wonder of nature. I avoid any association with toxic people. Life has been zen thereon. Of course there are certain quarters that is still vengeful but hey- successful people do let garbage truck take over their day right?

# Balqesh Abdullah

"The healthy man does not torture others. Generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers" – Carl Jung

"While you scream at your woman, there's a man wishing he could whisper in her ear.
While you humiliate her, there's a man reminding her how beautiful she is.
While you hurt her, there's a man wishing he could take her pain away.
While you ignore her, there's a man praying for her company everyday.
While you make her cry, there's a man stealing smiles from her."

Post this if you are against Domestic Violence

# Balqesh Abdullah

Bubbles club

I have a come a long way when it comes to diving. I was the most uncoolest diver around. Every possibly sin when it comes to diving, I am a sinner. Name it. Poor buoyancy, check, hyperventilating, check, destroying and killing corals with my finning, check, fog mask and never be able to clear mask under water, check, takes way too long to equalize, check, finning too fast and bumping into others, check, created sandstorm underwater while others trying to admire a macro, check and getting sea sick on the boat, check. Sometimes I wonder why others tolerated me in their diving circles. The only possible reason is I must be the butt of their joke. With poor skills like that, even the fishes are having a good laugh:)

I had the burning desire to dive since I was twelve years old. I don't know what triggered my interest but I just wanted to dive. I remembered telling my parents I want to dive. Obviously it was faced with much scorn and objections. In the eyes of my parents, diving equals to me putting my head in an alligator mouth. I carried the interest in me for a very long time. I finally got my break when I convinced my then hubby to dive. Off we went to Tioman for our open water certification. On my very first dive, I couldn't equalize. The instructor thought I was not properly weighted so he pulled me down and I blew my nose too hard. The next thing I know my world was spinning. Quick check and I have a ruptured ear drum. When the doctor told me I had a ruptured ear drum, the first thing that came to my mind is my mother's image and she vocalizing 'I told you so'. I couldn't walk straight for two weeks. I was having headache because my balance was off and I could only hear from one ear.The worst was I could not dive for the next six months. What? Six months?Mana boleh jadi ni cause my then hubby already had his certification.

My then hubby was supportive of my interest. I finally managed to get my certification at 5 star IDC centre in Perhentian years after the Tioman incident. Although I was not entirely comfortable underwater, I took Advance License. For me, the certification for Advance License was easier compared to Open Water certification. I get to do wreck dive and night dive which is my favourite bit of diving. I also did deep diving without experiencing vertigo. Despite getting my Advance License certification, I was still uncomfortable underwater. I would dive with a fog mask because clearing mask underwater scared the shit out of me.

I would take up any chance in diving. Every spare cash and holiday would be spared for diving trips. The old adage of practise makes perfect rings some truth. My buoyancy improves with every dive. I used to dive like a seahorse. Now my body is streamline. I guess it comes with age I am now more calm underwater. My air consumption is good. Now I am able to do fin pivotting effortlessly. Armed with improved skills, I discovered a new found love. Underwater photography.

I regularly find the dismissive attitude the topside world adopts regarding underwater photographers and their work exceptionally frustrating. No matter how difficult, costly or even downright risky taking photographs in the ocean may be or how objectively splendid the pictures, they will always be given a cursory, if luckily, grudgingly admiring glance before turning to more serious materials like politicians, racing cars and palace. This is so strange. For a planet 70% covered by sea and which should, in all honesty, be better known as "Water" rather than "Earth", humans seems to care very little. The sad, inescapable fact is that nowadays the vast majority basically think the ocean as a wet, windy, dark and dangerous place where fish is simply found only to be caught and eaten in endless quantities and will sustain this attitude until the last fish is gone.

Diving in the sea is strange enough but taking photographs down there, oh dear, that's only for obsessed amateurs. A cute picture of a kitten or a kid playing with a balloon is more fascinating than seldom seen marine creature or a spectacular underwater panorama. It is difficult to accept this when you think that the human race knows almost nothing of the sea and its inhabitants, that the oceans are the last frontier to be explored and that most of the world's new species being discovered today come from the marine environment. The endless beauty and staggering color palette of the underwater world , not to mention its scientific load of yet-to-be-tapped knowledge really seems to fail in eliciting any real interest outside diving circles.

That was the depressing part. Why then I want to take pictures underwater? The simplest reason is I like it. I love the fact that I can capture and take home pleasant memories of the dive trips. I am my own master and critic. However the pictures turn out, it is fine, since I am doing it for my own enjoyment. I just get wet, click around and be happy. It’s my life after all. Every dive is another step in a new direction and I have the chance of seeing and maybe photographing something mysterious and possibly unknown. Despite the funny stares I may get on dry land, I am spearheading the exploration of a new world, so incredibly complex, so little documented and yet so dangerously threatened by uncontrolled human activity. I dive in awe, every time, everywhere and at any depth and I have the moral duty to bring back tangible records of what I have experienced, to be shared with the rest of the world, that landlocked world to whom our seas are as remote as the reaches of outer space to share the knowledge, however amateurish and incomplete it may be. Knowledge brings respect, and respects in turn gives rise to understanding and ultimately love. Love is what oceans need today from all of us, for without love there can be no conservation. So how’s that for a motivation, ey?

# Balqesh Abdullah

Abracadabra!

There is a past, a long ago past and a long gone dead buried past. Unearth it using the right tools.Unless you have a mission to fulfill a Pharaoh's orders, by all means dig it!If not, prepare your own grave and cover your multitude of bad attitude in it. Nobody needs another scumbag
Anonymous

Black magic is invoked when wishing to kill, steal, injure, cause misfortune or destruction, or for personal gain without regard to harmful consequences to others.

I do not understand why you need to resort to black magic. You tried to portray to the world that you are pious but in truth, you are seeking help from the black magic man in Thailand.I also know about your recent trip to Jakarta.Seeking help from dukun there too?

I know your real intention. You want to squeeze every penny out of me. My advice is, if you want money, find it through the halal way. Get a proper education, get a proper job and with the decent monthly salary, save it. Not through fake promises,lies, extortion, force or your top of this wish list;your hope that your dad is dead so u can inherit his money.Stop being a parasite, will ya?

Remember, what goes around comes around. Allah is fair. The prayer of orang kena aniaya is easily makbulkan by Allah. I will not forgive you. You have a black heart. I feel sorry for ever knowing a sad soul like you.

# Balqesh Abdullah

Running rocks!

"He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat"-Napoleon Bonaparte

I love running. I have always been running. For ages. I do not have the physique of a runner but I do love to run. I do not run fast.I am more of long distance runner. Slow but clocks the distance.

In school, I was never a runner and I suck at sports. I wasn't fast enough. My eyes, hands and legs coordination is very poor. Despite all that, I ran. On my own. At my own time.

The moment I mention I run, it will be met with skepticism . I may not have the lean physique or rippling muscles or the thunder thighs. In short the physique of a runner. I have chubby arms and thighs, a pouch and sagging ass. But does that mean I am a couch potato?I have a marathon buddy. She too endured the same skepticism the moment she mention she runs. Let me share you some real-live snippets of the chides that we have to endure.

Example No.1:

A:So how was the marathon?What was your time?
B:Roughly 1hour 20-25 mins, the unofficial time on my watch lah
A:Ohh..let's hope the official time keeper wasn't asleep la that time
B:Dey...these days mana ada physical time keeper. Orang pakai chip kat kasut to track the time
A:Ohh..well let's hope the battery wasn't dead while you were running

Example No.2:

Me and my marathon buddy just finished our breakfast at mamak joint after one of the toughest marathon together. We were still in our marathon attire. We bumped into her neighbour.
Neighbour: Where were you from?
Marathon buddy:Just finish a marathon
Neighbour:Dapat number berapa?
Before she had the chance to reply, the neighbour went "dapat nombor last kan"

Example No.3:

"Boleh ke you run?Mesti you tak habis punya"

and the list goes on and on.

Sometimes I wonder why do people have to be so negative and pessimistic?I would in awe if I hear friends doing positive activities in their lives. I wonder why others cant feel the same?Beats me

I do not run competitively. I run for the sheer fun of running. If you talk to serious runners,they will have their running groups.They will talk about the foot works, the runners high and their personal record. Me?Nada. Just me,stamina, willpower and now my angry songs from the play list from my Ipod.

I know running is all about mind over matter.Your mind needs to be strong. It is a serious matter and it should not be taken lightly. If I do not train or do the proper warm down, my body will suffer. I did a gruelling marathon two weeks after Hari Raya. I hardly train during Ramadhan. Running with an empty stomach is like a car trying to run without fuel. I was slacking until the day of the marathon. I was hoping the lemangs, rendangs, chocolate brownies and all the yummylicious raya goodies will provide me with the extra energy for the run. I was so so wrong. The course was hilly and tough. The weather was scorching hot. At one point, I wanted to puke.Like I said earlier, its mind over matter. I finish the marathon with a very sore body and very bad sun burnt.

I was determined not to go through the same experience as the past gruelling marathon. I train. Hard. I didn't rest on my laurels.Guess what?The next marathon, it was a breeze. My body did not ache after the marathon. I felt strong. My timing was much better than the rest of my marathons.

My aim is to do 21km next year. Yes, my jiggly arms, thighs, pouch and sagging ass will slow run to the finishing line of 21km next year.To my marathon buddy, ada berani?:)

# Balqesh Abdullah