Solah

I chanced upon this article when I was browsing through the net. I must admit that I do falter when it comes to completing one of 5 principles of Islam. There would be times when I would fulfil my obligations, fully but there are days, I seemed to be lost in my pursuit of duniawi. 

Calamity strikes me late last year and I really prayed with all my heart. Allah is Most Forgiving and Most Merciful. He granted my prayers, although I have sinned again and again. Everything occurs according to preordainment and according to what has been decreed. And nothing happens in this Universe except through Allah's Knowledge, Permission and Divine Plan.  May Allah keep us in His providence, shower us with happiness and build a home for us in paradise. Ameen.

Are you a muslim who does not pray? Read on

You want to pray, but you just.. Can’t.

Perhaps you’ve always wanted to be one of those people who pray..  It seems so easy for some.  They just get up and do it.   Perhaps you were one of those people at one time, but now.. Not so much.

Something inside you is broken.  Scratch that.. It’s not exactly broken.. More like, it feels hollow inside.  Something is missing.  You feel nothing.. Numb.

So how do we get from this to praying?  The problem with most advice on salah is that it looks at things from a reactive point of view instead of a proactive point of view.  Not praying?  Well, just start.  Or better yet, take one salah at a time and keep building until you reach five.  Good advice, no?

No.  It doesn’t address what leads a person towards salah to begin with.

For some one who feels that hollowness inside, ‘just praying’ does nothing to stir the soul.  It doesn’t fill you up.  And, in fact, it can deplete you even further.  No, you need to start somewhere else.. You need to fill yourself up before your actions all follow suit.

We pray because of one simple reason:  We love Allah.  It’s the loving Allah part that makes it easy.  It’s the loving Allah part that makes you stand up when you’re exhausted.  Without that piece of the puzzle, nothing else will make salah stick.

When we look at the early Muslims, when Islam first came down, were there a lot of commandments?  No, there weren’t.  The early surahs are filled with lessons about Allah, about His Angels, His Messengers, His Books.  The rules and regulations came later, after the foundation was built.  So when we look at our own lives, why do we focus on the rules and regulations without paying attention to the foundation first?

If we want to be amongst those who pray.. Who pray regularly and easily.. Who jump up when the time for salah begins.. Then we need to begin first by building a love for Allah.  And in order to do this, we need to KNOW Him.

I always tell people who aren’t praying to begin first with dhikr.  Say SubhanAllah 100 times each day.  And as you do so, reflect on our own weaknesses, and the Greatness of Allah.  Reflect on how it is only with His Help that we are able to do anything.  When you do this, you’ll start a habit of THINKING about Allah.  You’re remembering Him.

And what happens when you remember Allah?  It starts to soften your dead heart.. You start to have more peace.. And most importantly, He remembers YOU.

Ibn al-Qayyim stated, “In the heart there is hardness which can only be softened by remembrance of Allah. So the slave must treat the hardness of his heart with the remembrance of Allah.”

“Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured.” (Qur’an, 13:28)

“I am to my servant as he expects of Me, I am with him when he remembers Me. If he remembers Me in his heart, I remember him to Myself, and if he remembers me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly better than his…” (Bukhari and Muslim)

Be MINDFUL of this as you sit each day doing some dhikr.  Think to yourself, I am walking towards Allah..  

As the last hadith goes on to say..

“… When he comes closer to Me by a handspan, I come closer to him an arm’s length. If he draws closer to Me by an arm’s length, I draw closer by a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him. If my servant comes to Me walking, I go to him running.” (Al-Bukhari)

You’re not praying (yet) but be mindful that you are getting closer.  Allow yourself to be in a state where you know you aren’t doing what you’re supposed to, but you’re taking steps to get there.  One of the tactics of Shaitan is that he leads you to believe that it’s all or nothing.  Either you’re praying, or you’re sinfully not.  So when we’re not, a dark cloud of guilt hovers over us, leaving us in darkness, unable to move forward.

Do you know the story of the man who killed 99 men?

Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Prophet of Allah (PBUH) said: “There was a man from among a nation before you who killed ninety-nine people and then made an inquiry about the most learned person on the earth. He was directed to a monk.

He came to him and told him that he had killed ninety-nine people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He replied in the negative and the man killed him also completing one hundred. He then asked about the most learned man in the earth. He was directed to a scholar. He told him that he had killed one hundred people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He replied in the affirmative and asked, `Who stands between you and repentance? Go to such and such land; there (you will find) people devoted to prayer and worship of Allah, join them in worship, and do not come back to your land because it is an evil place.’ So he went away and hardly had he covered half the distance when death overtook him; and there was a dispute between the angels of mercy and the angels of torment. The angels of mercy pleaded, ‘This man has come with a repenting heart to Allah,’ and the angels of punishment argued, ‘He never did a virtuous deed in his life.’ Then there appeared another angel in the form of a human being and the contending angels agreed to make him arbiter between them. He said, `Measure the distance between the two lands. He will be considered belonging to the land to which he is nearer.’ They measured and found him closer to the land (land of piety) where he intended to go, and so the angels of mercy collected his soul”.

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

 In another version: “He was found to be nearer to the locality of the pious by a cubit and was thus included among them”. Another version says: “Allah commanded (the land which he wanted to leave) to move away and commanded the other land (his destination) to draw nearer and then He said: “Now measure the distance between them.’ It was found that he was nearer to his goal by a hand’s span and was thus forgiven”. It is also narrated that he drew closer by a slight movement on his chest.

What is awesome about this story is that he hadn’t dramatically changed in terms of his actions.  He was just WALKING towards change.  And that was enough for Allah.  Allah is so patient that He watches us disobey Him.  And He waits.  Waiting for us to turn back to Him.  SubhanAllah!

So begin by walking towards Him.  And be mindful that when you do your dhikr, you are taking a step.

Another good step is to begin learning His Names.  When you KNOW Him, really know Him, you can’t help but attach your heart onto Him.  Knowing Allah’s Names will draw your heart closer to Him.  And as it does so, you will remember Him more.

Over time, your desire to please Him and turn back to Him will increase.. And this, my friends, is what will fill you up.  This is what will take away the hollowness.. THIS is what will make salah easy.  THIS is where the advice, ‘take it one salah at a time’ will be beneficial.  When you get to this place, it won’t be such a giant leap to contemplate standing up for one prayer.  And slowly, one will become two.. And so on..

But before you begin building your prayers, take the time to build your foundations, just as they early Muslims did.  Start with baby steps, like doing dhikr or learning His Names..

# Balqesh Abdullah 

Just a matter of perspective

What if grass is greener on the other side,
Because it is always raining there,
Where the ones who never fail to give,
Hardly have enough to spare,
Where the people with the broadest smiles,
Have pillows filled with tears,
And the bravest ones you have ever known,
Are crippled by their fears,
It is filled with lonely people,
But they are never seen alone,
Where those that lack real shelter,
Make you feel the most at home,
Maybe their grass looks greener,
Because they have painted on its hue,
Just remember from the other side,
Your grass looks greener too

Source- Unknown

# Balqesh Abdullah

Real men don't use violence

Recently hashtags related to domestic violence were trending on Twitter, #WhyILeft and #WhyIStayed, asking woman to come forward with their stories about why they chose to leave or stay in an abusive relationship.

I command the bravery of those who have speak out. To leave sounds all too easy on paper but in reality, people experiencing abuse find it daunting to even think about leaving. There is a lot of shame and guilt associated with walking out, or even talking about abusive relationship.

There are many forms of domestic violence. It can be in forms of creating fear, intimidation, verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, social abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse, controlling behaviours, spiritual abuse, separation violence, stalking and finally domestic homicide. Fear is a key elements in domestic violence and often the most powerful way a perpetrator controls and render the victim powerless. The perpetrator often use verbal, physical and emotional abuse to humiliate and demean the victim. They also dictate what she does, who she sees, where she goes and keep her from making friends or talking to her family. He also swindles her money and make her believe it is for family use.

Often after the relationship has ended, violence may continue. This can be a very dangerous time for the victim because the perpetrator may perceive a loss of control over the victim and become more unpredictable.  He would resort to different types of tactics to win her back by threatening to commit suicide, threatening to hurt her and her loved ones, threatening her world would crumble if he - the "hero" is not there to safe her from the evil world (when in fact he is the biggest devil).

There is not enough support for victim of domestic violence. The police would treat it as family issues and choose not to take action, although the victim have court's order restraining him from domestic abuse. The Syariah court, even with mounting of evidence, takes years to come to judgement.

Even once she have finally obtained divorce, the victim endured years of incessant stalking. He would stalked her physically or in the social media spheres- Linkedln included.

If you are forced to choose between saving your relationship  and yourself, always save yourself because no relationship is ever worth risking your life over.

# Balqesh Abdullah

I suffered so I learned and changed

This life will never be without storm. Stop fearing the storm. Build your inner shelter.

# Balqesh Abdullah

The joys of motherhood

“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother. “–  Lin Yutang

# Balqesh Abdullah

Word

As I look back on my life, I realize that every time life throws a curve ball at me, I was being re-directed to something better and closer to HIM.  Alhamdullilah

# Balqesh Abdullah

18 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy And Introverted

1. You’re not anti-social, you’re selectively social

2. At any given point, you have one (maybe two) best friends who are your entire life. You’re not a “group of friends” person. You can’t keep up with all that

3. Social gatherings that are supposed to be “rites of passage” like prom and dances and other such typical nonsense is just… not for you. You don’t understand it. You want nothing to do with it

4. When you do choose to grace a party with your presence, you are the life of it. You’re dancing on the table and doing body shots until 3 a.m

5. … You then retreat into three days of complete solitude to recover

6. You go out of your way to avoid people, but when you inevitably have to interact with them, you make it seem like there’s nothing in the world you’d rather be doing

7. Dating is weird, because you’re smiling and laughing and talkative at dinner, and then you don’t want to answer their texts for four days, because like, you just want to be left alone

8. You’re accused of being flirty with everybody, which is hilarious, because in reality, you can only tolerate like four people

9. You retain an air of mysteriousness about you, completely unintentionally. (There’s no mystery. You just feel no need to update the social sphere on what’s going on in your life every two hours)

10. Not to mention the fact that you either have days in which you’re tweeting and status updating every five minutes… or you delete your accounts for a month

11. You become unintentionally awkward because you at once feel the need to be a social life jacket for other people, though you’re just as uncomfortable yourself

12. You’ve never really understood the whole “introvert vs. extrovert” dichotomy (can we call it that?) Because you’re… both…

13. You’re always thrown into the wringer because people think you’re best suited to be the one who gives the presentation, confronts the boss, gives the speech, etc. Meanwhile, you’re practically throwing up over the thought of it

14. You ebb and flow between wanting to be noticed for your hard work, reveling in the attention and achievement you receive, to sinking and panicking over the thought of somebody else paying more than 30 seconds of attention to you

15. The entirety of your being is a conundrum, so needless to say, indecisiveness is your Achilles’ Heel

16. You’re at your happiest in places like coffee shops and cafés: surrounded by people, but still closed off and keeping to yourself

17. You prefer to travel alone, but meet up with people once you’re there

18. It’s taken you years to figure out that you’re shy. Literal years. And when you tell people, even your closest family members, that you’re “actually just shy” they pause, and then their eyes go big, and they go: “Oh my god you so are.”

# Balqesh Abdullah