Be strong

Smile even through your tears
Be strong even through your fears
You are in my thoughts and doa sis

The most overlook reason to commit

Chanced upon this article while browsing the net. Profound. 

Life is full of compromises, the proverbial fleas that come with the dog, which we put up with for the dog's company. Often, we try to get an accurate flea-count so we can decide whether the dog's company is worth it. Similarly, before you commit to a relationship, job, marriage, parenting role, or any other long-term investment of your effort, you may wonder whether it's worth the compromises you will have to make. 

Paradoxically, the flea-count will seem larger before you commit. Once you're committed, you will make an all-out effort to minimize the cost of the compromises required, lowering those costs.

For example, say you’re dating someone with irritating habits. You try to decide whether it’s worth committing to a real relationship. To assess the pros and cons, you’ll focus on the irritations. Every encounter with one will become a red flag and a reason to say, “Maybe this isn’t worth it." Every inconvenience will make you ask, “Can I make this work?” 

Only after committing to the relationship will you begin to work on becoming efficient at withstanding the irritations. You’ll cultivate strategic insensitivity to the irritations, reducing the number of red flags, because once you have committed, the question becomes, “How can I make this work?” and you begin to work on making the inconveniences matter less. After all, now you have practical incentive to lower the cost and maximize the benefits of your commitment. You'll learn to make room for your partner, humor him or her strategically, and not sweat the small stuff.

While it's not all small stuff, more of it seen as such once you’re totally in. You adapt to what you’ve embraced, because you can’t afford to bolt at every little red flag. The costs are too high, so you do what you can to reduce your incentive to bolt.

This holds true of all commitments. For example, having kids is a huge, daunting commitment to ongoing compromise. But so many people overlook how much work parenting turns out to be. Thinking about getting up through the night to nurse them is one thing; doing it is another. In this respect, commitment to the compromise of childrearing is different from dating. You don’t get hands-on experience with a baby until you’ve had a baby. 

Still, parents put up with a lot that they wouldn’t tolerate before they had children. They’re less ruffled by every little thing because they are locked into parenting. They can’t say, “I’m not going to put up with this!” They’re forced to learn to put up with irritations as efficiently as possible.

Behavioral economist and Nobel Prize-winner Daniel Kahneman speaks to part of the explanation with his Focus Illusion, the fact that nothing in life is as important as you think it is when you are thinking about it. This illusion applies to both delights and disappointments: You won’t be as excited about getting something you want once you get it, because once you get it, you will have it, and your attention will shift to other things.

Likewise, you won’t be as disappointed about getting something you don’t want, because you’ll have it, and your attention will shift. Even if you become disabled, you may not spend your day saying, "I'm disabled." People consistently overestimate how miserable they would be after a big loss. Once it happens, we navigate the compromises that come with it. We accept and shift our focus elsewhere, minimizing the cost of the compromise in the process. 

Goethe is famously misquoted as saying: 

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back…the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."

I’ve long thought this was a half-truth masquerading as a whole truth, and not at all a surefire reason to “begin it.” While Providence moves, it doesn't necessarily move enough in your favor to make your commitment an assured success. Providence also moves against you—when you commit to fight someone who fights back, Providence stirred to work against you.

Still, there's an inverse notion that pertains to compromise: Once you commit to a compromise, you innovate to minimize the cost of that compromise. Providence changes your behavior to be more adaptable.

Necessity is the mother of cost minimization, the invention of ways to withstand the compromises you’re in. While you're not required to commit to all compromises, it's helpful to remember that you will experience less costs one you're fully invested.

# Balqesh Abdullah 

You are not for everyone

The world is filled with people who, no matter what you do, will not like you. But it is also filled with those who will love you fiercely. They are your people. You are not for everyone and thats OK. Talk to the people who can hear you.

Don't waste your precious time and gifts trying to convince them of your value. They won't ever want what you are selling. Don't convince them to walk alongside you. You will be wasting both your time and theirs. It will likely inflict unnecessary wounds, which will take precious time to heal. You are not for them and they are not for you; politely wave them on and continue along your way. Sharing your path with someone is a sacred gift; don't cheapen this gift by rolling yours in the wrong direction.

Keep facing your true north.

# Balqesh Abdullah

Call of the mountains

It's always further than it looks. It's always taller than it looks and it's always harder than it looks. The most important lesson is mountains have a way of dealing with overconfidence

# Balqesh Abdullah

Lucky indeed

She is truly a God's gift to me. Alhamdullilah

# Balqesh Abdullah

Hear! Hear!

Need I say more?

# Balqesh Abdullah

Fearless

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great"- Mark Twain

# Balqesh Abdullah